Power and love go hand in hand in relationships because power has to be there to protect you when you love. It’s really a risky business to open yourself up to love and trust another person. Your heart is on the line. So, you need a means of holding your own, defending your interests and remaining attractive. Power can do all of that.
But too much power can cause you to detach, take a position and dig your heels in. The trick is knowing how to regain or obtain just enough power.
There are lots of subtle, low – impact power moves you can make. The best ones are those you can explain away as unintentional or incidental.
- Keep your life interesting, thriving and upbeat. This makes it clear that you’re desirable and potentially in demand. But, go easy; you don’t want to look like you’re moving on.
- Delay a bit before you reply to the odd text, email or phone call. You need to be really careful with this one. If you delay too much or too often, the other person may feel you’re disconnecting.
- Be fine when you’d normally be somewhat annoyed or distressed. This can make him/her wonder if something’s changed and why.
- Try for a little mystery. Figure out what you can say or do that will entice the other person without being too obvious that you just want to draw him/ her in.
As much as possible, try to keep your perspective. Power is meant to protect you when you love. That means power shouldn’t interfere with love or damage it. That being said, there are exceptions to every rule. Perhaps you and your lover are OK with a pretty heavy – handed use of power. For example, either of you can flirt, date or even sleep with someone else to make your point. I still recommend caution. Power moves like these can hit a person the wrong way. He/she could run screaming and never return. Or, stay with you and talk about the heartbreak of it for the next 25 years.
In general, it’s really important to be careful when you’re using power. A little can go a long way. You can rue the day if you go too far and impair your trust relationship.
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